It happened today.
I mean, I had thought about it. I had thought through it. And I really hadn't had any inclination that it was going to hit me. But it did. And it hurt. And it threw me in to a mess.
And this was it...
|That little tan coat contains my baby girl!|
My baby girl was going on a field trip. On a real bus. Without seat belts. On the Interstate. Without her mama to protect her.
OH MY GOSH! What the heck happened to that baby that I have? It. Is. Not. Possible. that my baby is big enough for this to happen.
The moment it hit me was when I was taking her picture at school, and getting ready to leave. And that panic moment took over, and a lump formed in my throat, and I wasn't sure how the heck I was going to make it through the day.
Knowing that I was going to be the only one in the office, and knowing that I really couldn't bare to be alone with my crazy mom thoughts, I packed up everything I would need for the day and headed to my place of comfort. The place where I knew that people would love me and accept me despite my crazy...because I was heading back to the place where my peeps are...the elementary school that I was based out of for the last 2 years.
But on the way there, I did what any other
(Oh, and I did text G to tell her that I was in need of some sensory via a big, tight hug.)
And truth be told...I was insanely jealous of my husband. Who got to be with her. On her first field trip. While I worked.
But...she had a great time. He had a great time. And I am so happy for both of them.
And not only did I survive the day, but I ended up having a good day.
And now, I can't wait for us to go as a family.