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Monday, October 8, 2012

...because, what if...

I am a hypocrite, and I use bad grammar.

I am a hypocrite.  Yep, I said it.  I have said, on more than one occasion, I would never, ever blog.  Why?  Because bloggers are people who think so highly of themselves that they put their thoughts out there with the intention of other people reading their drama.  Oh, but I was wrong, and I admit it.  Because, the more I read people's blogs, I realized that there is a reason that each and every blogger decides to blog, and who am I to judge?  Because, really, everyone has their own hand of life going on.

When Gina encouraged and inspired me to blog, I thought I was doing it for one reason, and then this morning, while I was driving to work, I realized that I was totally wrong.  True, I don't care or expect anyone to read this.  I was/am doing it for therapeutic reasons.  But then, something hit me and I couldn't wait to get home and write about it...because, what if???

What if something happens to me and I have left my children with no scrapbooks of their lives, very few videos to see who their mom really was, no journal to tell them stories of their lives, sadly filled out baby books or calendars, etc.  Because the truth is, I suck at all of those things.  It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't think about it, and I don't enjoy scrapbooking like my friends.  But, I do enjoy writing, I do find it therapeutic, I do like telling others about my kids, and I do like the fact that in the case of "what if," my kids just may have a better idea of who their mama was, while getting to read about their lives, where they came from, what they did, how they acted, and all of the things that they would miss out on if I hadn't decided to start a blog.  So, there you go.  I am a hypocrite, and I am sorry that I ever thought being a blogger meant that you were self-centered or in need of attention.  Who knows, maybe I was jealous that I didn't have the self-confidence to do it myself.

And about that grammar.  I am totally aware that I overuse punctuation, my favorite being the ellipsis.  Truth is, I have no idea why I do punctuation in threes, it's just who I am...???!!!  :)

So, I think I shall change the title of my blog, to the title of this post.  It seems more fitting than "..."  perhaps which was used because I really couldn't think of anything else.

And a big thanks to Gina and Brooke for changing my viewpoint of bloggers.   :)

2 comments:

  1. What a great reason to blog! I bought a journal to handwrite this exact same stuff in for Kaitlyn to have "because...what if"....it is still blank. I'm good at making the photo books of Kaitlyn's life but few pictures even have me in them. It would tell her nothing of who I am or how much utter happiness she gives me every single day. I have a terrible handwriting and my head usually moves faster than my hand making it even more unreadable. I don't know about making a blog for others to read but you've inspired me to do a private journal to then have printed at some point (before "because...what if" hopefully!). I used to write constantly in high school but got a case of writer's block and never wrote again. Hopefully, this will start it up again. And as far as 'proper grammar' goes....write how it comes out....to heck with the run-on sentence and prepositions....

    Thank you!

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  2. L has a calendar baby not-book filled out for 11 months and G has one filled out for maybe 4 months. Not like my boys will give a shit about when they ate green beans for the first time, though. I'd love to read my mom's journal. This, my friend, is the reason I blog. Well, that and it's cheaper than therapy. And because the community is phenomenal. AND because I like to use ellipses too. AND....

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