...dragons, battles, and kingdoms, oh my!!!

For the longest time, I really wanted for Dave to find something that he could bond with the girls with.  Mom's of girls have it good.  We are able to bond and appreciate their interests on so many levels.  Dads of girls sometimes have a struggle.  They may sometimes have a harder time appreciating a little girls interests.

My husband has always had a thing for "fantasy".  Fantasy sports, fantasy games... I think that it is some sort of escape from "real world".  Recently, my girls have become very interested in a game that he had begun playing on the IPad where he built some sort of village.  It interested me not at all.  But the girls would perch themselves up next to him and watch as he bought, sold, created, fought for, (I have no idea everything that he did) and they were hooked.  Like, so hooked that they wanted their own villages to build.

And so it began, and they each have their own village.  They have this crazy language that I have NO idea what it all means.  To watch your 4 year old talk about how she is mixing nature leaves to create new dragons, waiting for eggs to hatch in her hatchery, talking about how to know which defenses and tactics to use when fighting dragons to earn more gems...it's a little overwhelming.  And I just pretend that I know what the heck is going on.  (Oh, and to have your 7 year old read over your shoulder and tell you that your title to your blog post is wrong and change it for me because it doesn't best fit what they do!!!:))  But the thing is, the three of them really work together on their villages.  They strategize, plan for what they want to buy, how they want to build them, what quests they want to go on, sell what they don't need, what dragon is best to fight what dragon, how and when to feed the dragons, how to earn food, how to buy more land and what to put on it... And the part I love the most, when they ask dad a question, or text him something, he always replies.  Just this morning, Merrick had discovered how to mix a new dragon, and texted Dave and work because she was so excited to tell him.  It is FANTASTIC!!!

I am never going to "get" fantasy.  I am never going to build a dragon village.  I don't love the amount of time they are spending on their IPods and IPad.  But, I do appreciate that they are utilizing their brain power, and I am so grateful that they have found something that they can really relate to their dad.

So, dragons, battles and kingdoms???  Oh, yes!!!

...

...goooooooooo team!!!

Today is the third day of my "summer break."  I am going to say that is a pretty loose term based on the amount of meetings and training I have to attend, the email that I have to check daily, and the fires that still need to be put out in the summer.  Nonetheless, reporting to work every single day is not required.  Which is awesome.  Because the Owens girls like to sleep in.

With summer though brings the stress joy of being with my girls...24/7.  I am excited.  I also realize that being home with the girls in the summer also brings about it's own...experiences.  But, this is the first year that I really feel like I am spending the summer with my "kids."  Not my kid and her very clingy and very needy little sister, who also happens to be my daughter. But, my 2 friends.  My 2 big and mostly self-sufficient children.  Those girls that have grown up so much that I don't have to worry about every single little thing because we can all actually go with the flow.

Yes, we are still working on some things.  (the need to drink chocolate milk and pull mommy's hair, needing something "special" every time we go to the store, needing to be held even though we start Kindergarten in 2 and a half short months)  But, we are taking on the mantra that we are a team.  We even put our hands together and yell "gooooooooo team!" randomly throughout the day to remind each other (mostly Taya) that we all have to work together this summer to get things done.

Our "team" feeding the goats!

I am a pretty lucky girl to have such a team.  And I am also pretty excited to see what this "summer" has to bring.

...

...it's been a while...

There's been a whole lot of nothing going on around here...

Well, at least nothing that I had the time or energy to write about.

But, today I find a whole lot of randomness running around in my head, so here I am...

Last night we went on a double date with my mother-in-law and her significant other.  We went to a little Thai restaurant in the city (apparently non-spicy Thai food is STILL spicy enough to give me some serious heartburn!) and then headed to the FABULOUS Fox to see Million Dollar Quartet.  Which...was...AH-MAZING!!!!!!  OMG.  I seriously loved it.  So much, that I ordered tickets for my parents today for early Mothers/Fathers day gifts because they have to see it.  I will also say that if I was growing up back in the day, I may have had a serious crush on Johnny Cash.  Just sayin'.  He is way more my style than Elvis.

Also, I love me some Jamey Johnson and was soooo close to buying tickets for this coming Friday night.  But, we have a super early and busy Saturday so it doesn't work out with timing.  Which sucks.  Maybe another day.  :(

I have completely lost my patience with my children today.  So much that I may have just poured myself a glass of 4 Hands Pyrus Saison just to help myself cope.  ( I also just typed that I poored myself a drink, and had to go back and correct that.  Nice.)

I completely sort of understand how/why people get divorced over money/building a house.  It is stressful.  And we are only remodeling a bathroom.  In no way do I think that it is OK, and it no way do I really have any problems with my husband, it is just the mere stress of doing so.  Timing, money, coordinating, money, building, money, money, decisions that cost money, and did I mention money?  It is unreal the price of things that are awesome and cool, and you don't want to do this again, so you don't want to settle, but geez.  Who can afford some of this stuff?  We looked at a bathtub that was the entire $8000 budget for the entire bathroom!  And then once you decide on something like an amazing little red free standing tub that is only barely out of our price range, you have to decide on faucets, which are also crazily expensive!!!  We had finally settled on some amazing black faucets, added them to our online cart, and were notified that we would be waiting 6-8 weeks.  WHAAATTT?????  It seriously took us forever just to decide on them.  So, we settled in this area.  We still got cool faucets, but they are just plain silver.  Which is boring.  But won't hold us up for 2 months.

Last night I spilled beer in my car.  Which is horrible.  Because it smells like stale beer in my car, which also mimics the smell of beer puke.  Awesome.

I have been sucking horribly at one of my New Year's Resolutions.  I was off to a great start with working out, have been struggling for the last 6-8 weeks, and am now considering the possibility of a personal trainer, who also happens to be my pastor, which are not at all related, he just happens to be good at what he does and reasonably priced.  I really need to find someone who can help me tackle this post-c-section tummy that I continue to struggle with.  I have been watching "Splash" and really have a great desire to look like Brandi Chastain in the tummy region.  Yeah, I know it's never gonna happen, but if I could get rid of at least a little of the huge spare tire hanging around my mid-section, it would be awesome.    I really miss the days of breastfeeding when I ate whatever the heck I wanted, and never worked out and was the skinniest I have been in my adult life.

Work is crazy, mad busy.  Hard to believe that in 4 weeks I will have survived my first year of juggling 5 buildings.  There are days when I wonder what the heck I have gotten myself in to, days when I think I have the best job ever, and days when I daydream about new careers.  But, who doesn't???

Also in 4 weeks, I will officially have a Kindergartner and a 2nd grader.  HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???

I am looking forward to summer, but terrified all at the same time.  These girls are 24/7 needy children that can wear a mama out.  But at the same time, they are SO MUCH FUN!!!  I have a long list of ToDos for us (in my head).  I am considering planning the entire summer out day by day.  I just wonder if I will stick to it?

I have really missed blogging.  But, haven't.  I think I need it though.  It's therapeutic and helps me escape.  Which is awesome.  It just takes time, that I don't have.

That's it for my rambling.  I could keep going and going and going, but I have laundry calling my name.  :(

...

...those little noises...

My Granny

I miss this lady.  I haven't seen her in over 2 and a half years.  To be precise, the last time I saw her living and breathing was on September 17, 2010.  I sang her a song.  I held her hand as she died.  It was the most heart-wrenching, yet peaceful thing I have ever experienced in my life.

There are things that happen to me every now and again (is that a real expression??) that make me giggle because I know that a part of her has rooted in me.

At some point in time in December I decided that I MUST learn how to crochet...although this lady had tried to teach me how and I quickly gave up because I didn't have "crocheting hands."  Well this time was different, either I had grown a "crocheting hand" or Granny passed one down to me, because I caught on quickly.  And once my mama had taught me two basic stitches, I was able to go on my own and I have even taught someone else.  (Well, it could also be that my mom was such a rock star teacher, but seriously... I couldn't learn from Granny!!!)

Just recently I have started making "little noises" when I am alone.  For my family members, just the mention of little noises probably makes you hear them.  I will never in my life forget that sound.  I asked my Mom once why she did that, and her reply was "she just does."  So when I catch myself doing it, it makes me giggle... and then I wonder how long I have been walking around the store by myself making little throaty noises and how many people have heard me wondering what the heck I'm doing?  But what is probably worse is the grin that spreads all the way across my face just because I am thinking about her.  Which would probably lead people to the assumption that the lady walking through the store making little noises with a big 'ole grin on her face MUST BE CRAZY!!!  But I don't care, because my heart is having a moment with my Granny.

And sometimes I need those moments so much because I miss this lady like crazy!!!

...

...we've gone bird-s**t crazy...

*** I started this a while back, but never finished it.  In honor of this late March blizzard that we are in the midst of,  I thought I'd finish it***

I know, the real saying is bat-s**t crazy, but for real, we have gone all bird crazy up in this house!

I guess it started a couple of months ago when the weather really started getting colder.  We were probably bored and decided that the birds needed food, so we would do a little fun activity of using toilet paper rolls, peanut butter and sunflower bird seed to make some bird feeders.  It was fun and we liked seeing the birds come around.

Our first 3 "homemade" bird feeders in addition to our real feeders.

The birds went through them pretty quickly, so we made a couple more each time, until eventually we ended up with 9 "homemade" toilet paper/paper towel roll, peanut butter and seed feeders.  Although, those take a long time...so I went to Pinterest, got some ideas, went to the local Dollar Tree and we made some more fun feeders.

And here are some of my favorite pics... (although their quality is not great due to taking pictures through a tinted window).

before the snow came

we thought this was a lot of birds at the time...

messy eaters

one of our mama cardinals

a bird variety

these are the "creepers"

just pretty

they love this $1 feeder!

Cardinal in our Wheaping Willow

Not a bird, but pretty fantastic!

and this was today... 03/24/13...

It's our second day of "Spring" break...what happened to the Spring???

...9 years and counting...

Today is our 9 year anniversary.

Dave and I are not picture people.  We really aren't like "remember it with a photo" type people.  That being said, I don't have a picture from every anniversary.  To say that I could even find "a" picture of us together from every year on my hard-drive would be a stretch.  Sad, right.  But, it's the truth.

Overall, it's been a pretty great 9 years.  As do any married couples, of course we've had our ups and downs, but one of my favorite things about our marriage is how we still miss each other when we have to spend the night away from each other. (Oh, and knowing that Dave loves me unconditionally and that I can rely on him for just about anything...because I am probably NOT the easiest person to live with!)

So, I have dug up a few snapshots that were on my laptop...

Next year, it's going to be a whole lot of vacay pics!  :)

Wedding Day

Honeymoon

Jamaica

Almost a family of 3!

Wedding for friends

Go Cards!!!

Night out with my Sisters and Hubs

Wrist tattoo day with the Pete's

Lion King

10 more years???

...

...but I'm only 37...

This is what I was crying sobbing to my husband today while I drove to work.

***Edited to add:  I also may have called my mom and told her I needed her, because, I still do...***

Yes, I am only 37...but OMG!  I am already 37!

It's been a tough week for me.  It's been a tough month for me.  Work has been tough.  Mama'ing has been tough.  Wife'ing has been tough.  Friend'ing has been tough.  And having a 37 year old body has been tough.

I have really been trying to focus on the positive.  But today the positive stopped and the stress and anxiety and the hurt that I have felt over the past month just came thundering in and I lost it.

At the ripe old age of 37, I have not yet entered defined "middle age."  But I have more and more signs of life that are pointing precisely to that "label."  I am convinced that 37 is the time that things just start to go downhill, in a quick manner.  At least, for me.

You know those people out there that say 40 is the new 20?  Ummmmm..... my body disagrees.  And I have proof.

I should put in a disclaimer that I am eternally thankful that overall, I am a generally healthy person.  I do not have a degenerative disease.  I do not have cancer.  I have my eyesight and hearing.  I am not considered to be "overweight."

But on days like today, that doesn't stop you from grieving what you don't have that others do.

...

Last night I made an appointment to see the eye doctor this morning.  It has been increasingly worse every year as I go to the eye doctor and I hear the same spiel... "with every birthday..."  Today was not a routine visit.  I have had a busted blood vessel in my eye since last Friday.  I have had probably a total of 4 or 5 over the last couple of years.  They typically go away in 3-4 days.  This one was different.  I had pressure and eye aches and a general feeling of discomfort.  I went through the general test of "read this, what is this letter, blah, blah."  I have long ago come to terms with the fact that I can't read the E.  But today I really and truly struggled with reading the card.  I mean, I had to really take a long time to focus and still ended several lines up from the bottom.  UGH!!!  He did some looking, took some pictures, asked some questions, typed up lots of notes, and started talking.  It's really not a big deal.  My tear ducts are not working properly.  I have significantly dry eyes.  ( I have had lots of contact lens tearing in my eyes).  I have an infection.  "We'll take care of the infection, but we need to talk in about 10 days about our long term plan for the dry eyes... one thing at a time.  Infection first, plan second.  You need to start taking this super duper fish oil supplements every day.  This is common as we get older.  You aren't really a good candidate for lasik because you will likely need bi-focals so it's a $5000 dollar surgery and you will likely still need glasses.  You know, I had to stop wearing my contacts because of the same types of things, so I just stick to glasses."

I asked a couple of "non-eye" related medical questions, he suggested I follow up on some things with my regular doctor, we chatted about golf, and I went on my way.

And the reality hit me.  Am I going to be confined to glasses for the rest of my life? I hate wearing glasses.  I can't just look down when I am wearing glasses, I have to move my entire head.  I can't see in the shower.  You can't just dive into a swimming pool or the ocean.  (and on, and on, and on.) The commitment to glasses is LIFE CHANGING!  For the people who can see without lenses, you probably don't get it.  But it sucks.  Am I grateful that at least glasses allow me to see? Yes.  But, I'm not ready for this.... I am only 37.

Also today, I made the call to the doctor to have something checked out that I have been avoiding.  I am a self-diagnoser.  I am also a hypochondriac.  And the diagnosis of the day:  rheumatoid arthritis.  The thing is, this time there is something substantial.  I have had some serious hand-joint issues this week.  I even cried out in pain when Taya grabbed my hand.  And I have done nothing to it to injure it.  And it has gone from numb, to tingling, to locked up, to extremely sore, and it sucks.  And its not just my hand.  Its been happening in my toes and feet joints/bones as well.  And dry eye is a factor.

I could be completely off base.  I hope I am.  But even if it's really nothing... I am only 37.  I am not old enough for nerve/joint/bone issues.  I am not old enough to be confined to glasses for the rest of my life to see the world.  I still have two young girls with a ton of life left to enjoy.  I myself am still young.

But I'm not.  I am already 37.  I am approaching middle-age.

And today my husband reminded me that we really need to enjoy our lives while we are younger because where will be in 10 years?

Almost 50.  I can't even imagine.

...