I have been looking forward to today for a long time. It was supposed to be a big day for me and the girls. In my mind, it was going to be perfect.
My big mistake. Nothing in my world is perfect. I can't even tell you the last time I had that "this is perfect" feeling. Is perfect even such a thing?
This is by no means the first time my "perfect" plans have been squashed before they even got started. It happens every time. I plan it, I get excited, and it gets ruined.
I have two little "perfect plan" crushers who live in my house. One is 7. One is 4. I love them with all of my being. But they have a knack for really crushing a mama's hopes.
It's honestly not even worth going in to all of the petty details, and probably I worry to much about perfectness that I don't even get a chance to let it just come to fruition on its own... But just once, I'd like to plan something for my girls that didn't include whining, and crying, and tantruming, writhing like you are in pain because I didn't buy you everything you wanted, acting inappropriate in a restaurant, and on and on.
I love being a mom. I am proud of my girls. I love the idea of a perfect day.
But damn, just once I'd like to see it happen. Just once, I'd like for all of my efforts to be enough. Just once, I'd like to hear, "thank you mom for everything you did for us today."
But is once ever enough???
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I've had this same feeling all the time, when I plan and plan and have the whole thing perfectly envisioned in my head. It's hard when the reality doesn't even compare to my visions.
ReplyDeleteThis happens at our house sometimes too. I'm still traumatized by the time we surprised Logan with a trip to see the "real" Lightning McQueen. His reaction was ridiculous. Don't ask. It was BAD.
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