...because, what if...

I am a hypocrite, and I use bad grammar.

I am a hypocrite.  Yep, I said it.  I have said, on more than one occasion, I would never, ever blog.  Why?  Because bloggers are people who think so highly of themselves that they put their thoughts out there with the intention of other people reading their drama.  Oh, but I was wrong, and I admit it.  Because, the more I read people's blogs, I realized that there is a reason that each and every blogger decides to blog, and who am I to judge?  Because, really, everyone has their own hand of life going on.

When Gina encouraged and inspired me to blog, I thought I was doing it for one reason, and then this morning, while I was driving to work, I realized that I was totally wrong.  True, I don't care or expect anyone to read this.  I was/am doing it for therapeutic reasons.  But then, something hit me and I couldn't wait to get home and write about it...because, what if???

What if something happens to me and I have left my children with no scrapbooks of their lives, very few videos to see who their mom really was, no journal to tell them stories of their lives, sadly filled out baby books or calendars, etc.  Because the truth is, I suck at all of those things.  It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't think about it, and I don't enjoy scrapbooking like my friends.  But, I do enjoy writing, I do find it therapeutic, I do like telling others about my kids, and I do like the fact that in the case of "what if," my kids just may have a better idea of who their mama was, while getting to read about their lives, where they came from, what they did, how they acted, and all of the things that they would miss out on if I hadn't decided to start a blog.  So, there you go.  I am a hypocrite, and I am sorry that I ever thought being a blogger meant that you were self-centered or in need of attention.  Who knows, maybe I was jealous that I didn't have the self-confidence to do it myself.

And about that grammar.  I am totally aware that I overuse punctuation, my favorite being the ellipsis.  Truth is, I have no idea why I do punctuation in threes, it's just who I am...???!!!  :)

So, I think I shall change the title of my blog, to the title of this post.  It seems more fitting than "..."  perhaps which was used because I really couldn't think of anything else.

And a big thanks to Gina and Brooke for changing my viewpoint of bloggers.   :)